Where I’m From (Revisited)

I am a cat lover

A brunette covered

Head with bright and shiny thoughts.

I am an older sister

I am a never misser

Until I do.

I am a giver

From a mom who shivers

For me so I don’t have to worry

But I do anyway.

I am attention seeking

Pretending that peeking

From behind the curtains makes me nervous

Because I think it should.

I am an open book

But only when you look

To take off the dust cover.

I like to hide

But more to seek

Because hiding results in loss

And you can only win when searching.

I am searching abroad

For the endless applause

That I pretend means nothing

Because it should

But it means everything to me.

I am a baker, not a cook

Hidden far into the nook

Of unfinished projects bluffing perfection

Because unfinished is just an

F in the end.

I am just a mess

Who happens to be best dressed

For the label of success

I am a pretender

Who can only begin

When the curtains close

And the performance really starts.

I am a redeemer

From coupon codes to

Emotions wrapped within

The chains of a murderer.

I am innocence

Born from maturity

Unknown to most

Known well to few

Fully to none.

The sun is still shining

And the rainbows still gleam

But now I know everything

Isn’t just as it seems

With the mind of a cynic

And the voice of a critic

But the heart of a swooner,

A quite tone deaf crooner

That hides her strong faith within the arms of another

But pretends that she alone, is the decider of her world

I am a closeted introvert

Hiding behind suspiciously genuine confidence

That seems out of place all of the time

Except for all those times when it doesn’t

I am the abbreviated version of myself

Like Huck Finn with no slaves.

Even in this personal space

I delete the aspects of myself

I’m not quite ready to see in the light.

I am looking for an author to write my original

I am slowly learning that they do not exist.